Today a bum came up to me as I was sitting in my vehicle scarfing down my secret indulgence – Taco Bell. He asked me if I could give him a $1.80 to add to the meager change he had already collected to catch a bus.
He said, “I am sorry to ask you but I don’t even have any money to eat.”
Like most Americans, I would rather not think about the homeless crisis in our nation.
I wasn’t mentally prepared for someone to walk right up to my window and get in my face.
I gave him the only change I had ($1) and the only soft shell taco I had ordered off the menu alongside my other greasy goodies.
Sadly, I am telling you that taco was harder to give up than the dollar.
When I catch a certain food craving, I ride it for several months to a year. Soft shell tacos are my current fix of choice, but I knew he needed it way more than me.
I cannot even imagine what it is like to be so down and out that you have to override your pride to beg someone for basic subsistence items like transportation and food.
This has happened to me two times in this specific affluent area, and both times I prayed for the individuals to find a way to get back on their feet. It is not enough but it’s a start.
Who are you scamming?
I also gave money to a teenage girl at Walmart a year ago. She cornered me as I was getting ready to leave with my groceries. She told me she had zero gas in her car and needed to get home to her mom.
I found out a few days later she scammed me and several other people out of a few bucks and was later seen laughing in Walmart with a gaggle of girlfriends and buying cigarettes with the money.
So I understand why people are fearful of being duped and handing over their hard-earned money to people who should work for their own.
This is part of the reason people turn the other way when they see someone bumming. They aren’t sure if there is a real need. I struggle with this too.
However, I always remind myself that people who lie, take advantage of the kindness of strangers and are generally malicious to others don’t have any real hope in their lives.
They really are the poor in spirit and are essentially scamming themselves.
Truthfully, I wanted to tell both of them to go away and stop bugging me and other people in the parking lot. I certainty didn’t want to give him my food or money.
I didn’t tell either of them no though, because I follow Christ, the great Redeemer and king of second chances. I have a soft spot for hurting people in trouble.
I hope that man and that young girl saw grace in my eyes and found their way home, both physically and metaphorically.
The father knows how to find you and he knows what you need
I recently came across an interview of renown Christian author and singer Shelia Walsh talking about recovering from depression and suicidal ideation after divorcing her first husband (watch second video below).
During the interview, she said the wisest thing that stuck with me, “Unless you have needed grace yourself, you have very little to distribute to other people.”
She, like myself, was also hospitalized for a short time in a mental institution on suicide watch.
I take great comfort in hearing her story, and I think you will too so please keep reading.
In the first video, Shelia shares painful childhood memories of her father who went insane and drowned himself. As an adult, she also contemplating killing herself by walking into the ocean at Virginia Beach.
According to her, the night she checked herself into the psychiatric crisis center was the worst in her life, but inside her darkest moment she found a ray of hope to hold onto.
Around 3 a.m. in the morning, an orderly came into the room to check on her and placed a tiny stuffed lamb into her hands. He simply told her, “Shelia, the shepherd knows where to find you.”
Bummer lambs and gratitude
Lambs hold particular relevance to Shelia, whose mother worked for a local farm. As a child, Shelia got to see ewes give birth.
Sometimes, an ewe would reject a baby lamb for whatever reason, and the shepherd would have to take that tiny lamb under his wing and bottle feed it until it was strong enough to return to the flock.
Those rejected lambs are called bummer lambs.
Photo by Liz Bowen at https://lizbowen.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/2kylie-lamb.jpg
According to Shelia, whenever the shepherd calls for his sheep, the bummer lambs are always the first to run to him because they are grateful and know his voice the best.
Some days don’t we all feel like a bummer lamb?
A person doesn’t have to be flat broke and down and out to feel rejected and disheartened in this unpredictable world. No one is really exempt from heartache on earth no matter how rich they are in money and material goods.
Finding solace in the midst of depression
Whenever we loose our hope for a brighter tomorrow, we can develop depression or another form of mental illness.
They say depression is anger turned inside, and it is.
Depression is also a form of rejecting oneself. When you are depressed, you feel like your mind is betraying your body and soul, and you attack yourself from within. A depressed person knows this cycle is self-defeating and counter-intuitive but they cannot seem to find their way out.
At least, that is how I felt.
I no longer struggle with depression as much, and I credit that to listening to the Master Shepherd’s voice and following him down His path.
Some days I stumble and fall, and some days I joyfully run along the path. Regardless of how I feel, the shepherds is walking beside me and he walks beside you too.
I invite you to listen to Shelia’s powerful message, and consider Christ knows where to find you as well!
May God bless you and yours always! Melissa
Melissa LeGates is a professional freelance writer and retired Air Force journalist. She specializes in long-form features and loves to write about living a victorious Christian life, art and health.
She is an avid blogger and currently maintains three blogs:
– PTSD/my first book “Set My Captives Free” launch athttps://setmycaptivesfree.wordpress.com
– Writing career at http://melissalegates.wordpress.com
– The world of colored pencil art and artists athttps://coloredpencilenthusiast.wordpress.com.
She and her husband live in Delaware. In her free time, she is a student of colored pencil, watercolor, acrylics and oils.
You can contact Melissa at malegates@gmail.com.
SET MY CAPTIVES FREE 